Mildura Weekly : Friday April 4 2014 Vol 8 No 22
www.milduraweekly.com.au 2 Mildura Weekly – 04/04/14 a look at the lighter side of life and our amazing World.... a look at the lighter side of life and our amazing World.... a look at the lighter side of life and our amazing World.... 424 San Mateo Avenue, MILDURA Ph: 5021 1777 | F: 5021 1733 www.milduraweekly.com.au OFFICE HOURS: Monday - Thursday 8:30am - 5:30pm Friday 8:30am - 4:00pm NEWS email@example.com SPORT firstname.lastname@example.org LETTERS email@example.com GENERAL firstname.lastname@example.org MANAGER SALES email@example.com CLASSIFIEDS firstname.lastname@example.org REGULAR FEATURES In the Riverland.........................................22 - 25 Real Estate Guide......................................27 - 51 TV Guide.......................................................62 - 63 Trades & Services......................................64 - 65 Brain Strain..........................................................66 Go Auto.........................................................67 - 74 Classifieds....................................................75 - 79 INSIDE TODAY Dried fruit prices arouse suspicions – Page5 Smartphone security in the spotlight – Page9 Historic Avoca to go under hammer – Page 60 A corporate enterprise of the Mildura Weekly Ph: 5021 1782 www.milduraphonebook.com.au 25,718 COPIES DISTRIBUTED WEEKLY For more info visit www.auditbureau.org.au MG398 RETIREMENT VILLAGE PH 1300 135 602 TO REGISTER FOR RETIREMENT LIVING SEMINAR OR OUR INFORMATION INFORMATION INFORMA PACK PACK P Display Open Monday to Friday 10am to 4pm • 333 Eighth Street, Mildura PHONE (03) 5021 1077 www.milduragardens.com.au • Refurbished Villas Also Available • Open Plan Living with Covered Outdoor Entertainment • Safe & Secure with On-site Manager • Fully Landscaped & Pet Friendly • Double Garages Available • Close to Community Centre • All Villas with Ducted Air- con. • All Villas with New Warranty NEW RELEASE! Mildura’s Finest Retirement Villas NEW! 2 Bedroom Villas from $270,000 NEW! 3 Bedroom Villas from $277,000 Mallee phone scam caution FEDERAL Mem- ber for Mallee Andrew Broad is warning residents in the Wimmera and Mallee areas to not give out personal or bank- ing information in light of a recent phone scam. “Many resi- dents in the Mal- lee and Wimmera regions have re- portedly received calls from people claiming to be rep- resentatives from the Australian Tax Office,” Mr Broad said. “They explain that the residents had been over- taxed by the ATO by as much as $7000, and re- quest bank ac- count details or other personal in- formation so that money can be de- posited into an ac- count to cover the cost of process- ing and returning the ‘over-taxed’ amount. “It is impor- tant that residents do not give out any personal in- formation over the phone, particu- larly bank account details. “I encourage anyone who re- ceives these calls to report them to Scamwatch.” Those looking to report suspect- ed scam activity can do so by vis- iting www.scam- watch.gov.au, or by contacting Mr Broad’s office on 1300 131 620. This is too good not to pass on... Apparently, so rumour has it, when the great Gandhi was studying law at the University Col- lege of London, there was a profes- sor, whose last name was Peters, who felt animosity for Gandhi, and because Gandhi never lowered his head towards him, their “argu- ments” were very common. One day, Mr. Peters was hav- ing lunch at the dining room of the University and Gandhi came along with his tray and sat next to the professor. The profes- sor, in his arrogance, said; “Gandhi: you do not under- stand... a pig and a bird do not sit together to eat ,” to which Gandhi replied, “Do not worry professor, I’ll fly away,” and sat at another table. In a rage, Peters decided to take revenge on the next test, but Gandhi responds brilliantly to all questions. Then, Peters asked him the following question; “Gan- dhi, if you are walking down the street and find a pack- age, and within it there is a bag of wisdom and another bag with a lot of money; which one will you take?” Without hesitating, Gandhi responded, “The one with the money, of course.” Peters, smiling, said: “I, in your place, would have taken the wisdom, don’t you think?” Gandhi replied; “Each one takes what one doesn’t have.” Peters, almost apo- plectic, writes on Ghandi’s exam sheet the word “idi- ot,” and gives it to Gandhi, who calmly takes it and sits down. But a few minutes later, he goes to the professor and says; “Mr. Peters, you signed the sheet, but you did not give me the grade.” Acat died and went to Heaven. God met her at the gates and said, “You have been a good cat all these years. Anything you want is yours for the asking.” The cat thought for a minute and then said: “All my life I lived on a farm and slept on hard wooden floors. I would like a real fluffy pillow to sleep on.” God said, “Say no more.” Instantly the cat had a huge fluffy pillow. A few days later, six mice were killed in an accident and they all went to Heaven together. God met the mice at the gates with the same offer that He made to the cat. The mice said, “Well, we have had to run all of our lives – from cats, dogs, and even people with brooms! If we could just have some little roller skates, we would not have to run again.” God answered, “It is done.” And all the mice had beautiful roller skates. About a week later, God de- cided to check on the cat. He found her sound asleep on her fluffy pil- low. God gently awakened the cat and asked, “Is everything okay? How have you been doing? Are you happy?” The cat replied, “Oh, it is won- derful. I have never been so happy in my life. The pillow is so fluffy, and those little Meals on Wheels you have been sending over are de- licious!” And another beauty from the cat file... A man absolutely hated his wife’s cat and decided to get rid of him one day by driving him 20 blocks from his home and leav- ing him at the park. As he arrived home, the cat was walking up the driveway. The next day he decided to drive the cat 40 blocks away. He put the beast out and head- ed home. Driving back up his driveway, there was the cat! He kept taking the cat fur- ther and further, and the cat would always beat him home. At last he decided to drive a few miles away, turn right, then left, past the bridge, then right again and another right until he reached what he thought was a safe distance from his home and left the cat there. Hours later the man calls home to his wife: “Jen, is the cat there?” “Yes”, the wife answers, “why do you ask?” Frustrated, the man an- swered, “Put him on the phone, I’m lost and need di- rections! “ More from the ‘Did you know?’ file... It takes glass one million years to decompose, which means it never wears out and can be recycled an infinite amount of times! Gold is the only metal that doesn’t rust, even if it’s buried in the ground for thousands of years. Your tongue is the only muscle in your body that is at- tached at only one end. If you stop getting thirsty, you need to drink more water. When a human body is dehy- drated, its thirst mechanism shuts off. Each year 2,000,000 smokers either quit smoking or die of tobacco-related dis- eases. Zero is the only number that cannot be represented by Roman numerals. Kites were used in the American Civil War to deliver letters and newspapers. Drinking water after eat- ing reduces the acid in your mouth by 61 percent. Peanut oil is used for cooking in submarines because it doesn’t smoke unless it’s heated above 450F.
Friday March 28 2014 Vol 8 No 21
Friday April 11 2014 Vol 8 No 23